ADAM LEARNS THE FACTS OF LIFE
It was the 6th day of creation. And the Creator was almost finished, except for his one most challenging project. MAN! He knew it wouldn’t be easy. Everything that had gone before; the planet itself, its flora and fauna, and immense boundless infinite space that surrounded the prince of G-d’s creation - all for man’s understanding and rational acceptance.
Yes, it was time for his last (and most troublesome, as He would soon discover) creation. Don’t ask me about the techniques involved, I wasn’t there, but SHAZAM, there was man, made of formerly dust and the breath of G-d’s spirit.
And the Lord, the G-dfather, saw it was good. And He also thought it wise to have a discussion with this new mammal. He had much explaining to do about what was to come – namely his helpmate, Eve. A forewarning seemed appropriate.
“So, Adam, you understand I shall form another creature – almost – with the exception of some bells and whistles – a replica of you”.
Adam, stunned by the news, had a one word reply, “why?”
“Because you need a helpmate. Because you’ll be lonesome all alone in a friendless world. And most of all, because we need more humans – like we need more foxes, butterflies, and tigers.”
“I thought YOU made more.”
“No, that task is assigned to the creatures themselves.”
Adam squinted as though in deep thought. “Well, Sir, what’s this new thing got to do with it?”
Oh dear, thought the Lord. This will be difficult. “Adam, she’s a required partner in this production process. She shall look like you with a few minor exceptions, but her heart shall be softer, more unselfish, more giving so that she shall be more adaptable to the new ones. Adam, first thing watch the animals. That will prove helpful. They caught on quickly.” Then He gave Adam a botany lesson. “Adam, when the honeybee extracts the sweetness of the flower, he’s also fertilizing/propagating the flower.”
Adam stared wide-eyed and dumb-founded. His face showed no understanding. “And Adam, this helpmate will be a great listener. When you come home from a romp with the tigers, you’ll find you want to share your experience with a fellow human. I will design her to be a great listener. That’s sort of a function of that bigger heart I gave her. And another thing,” said the Lord, “there will be days when you tire of plucking the low-hanging fruit from the trees of Eden. She will prepare you vegetable casserole for supper and stuffed eggplant.”
“Yes Sir,” said Adam, “but now I need shelter and food for two. And besides, I like to sleep late - until the sun is halfway to the top of the sky. What if she rises earlier and disturbs me?”
The Lord explained in gentle words that in order to gain the benefits of the new creature Adam might have to give up some of his own benefits. “There’s no free lunch,” He said, using the words He would put in the mouth of a wise economist many aeons hence.
But this propagating thing, Sir, you really haven’t explained it.”
“Don’t worry. You’ll get the hang of it. Remember what I told you of the birds and bees. Watch the mammals, too. Now take a deep breath and lie down in sleep.”
Adam obeyed and when he awakened there stood his likeness (with a few bells and whistles). And creation’s first human looked upon it and like his Maker, he knew it was good. Eve immediately started on supper.
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